Developmental Psychology
DeVeLoPmEnTaL PsYcHoLoGy
"I just don't understand how he can play those stupid video games all the time. People should do things my way. Why don't they ever listen and do what I tell them? I have worked since I was 14 and never hung out with friends. Hard work comes first!!"
"Nicolle, do you know where I left my, um, my, um, oh goodness, I can't remember what I was looking for"
"My teacher sucks!! He is terrible, he is not fair at all!! I hate his class!! I don't even know how he became a teacher!! and , no, mom trying to talk to him wont change anything. nothing EVER changes!! Its not my fault, its his!!
"I'm too stupid to ever pass. The only thing I'm good at is sports. They frustrate me sooo much!! Ugh!! It's so hard to focus!! I will never be as good as my brother in school. I'm just dumb and I will never be good enough for college"
"Mom, I need to pay for my SAT. My drama play is this week. I got to finish my application to the Naval Academy summer camp and wash my truck today then May I go out with friends tonight? I am sending out my letters for my Haiti mission trip fundraising today."
"Waaah...Waaahhh" Coooo....cooooo......giggle...giggle....sleep...eat....sleep...eat"
"Oh goodness, I ned to do homework, laundry, make dinner, pack lunches...." How do I make those boys understand and not make the same mistakes I did??"
If you could see a day in my life, you would probably hear all these conversations going on. At this point in my life, with seven people in the house, I have just about every stage of developmental psychology going on under my roof!!!
My dad is 77, mom is 67, Jacob is 17, Noah is 15, Eli is 14, Malachi is 3 months and I just turned 40. As I read this week, I realized that my house is a living breathing psychology chapter at this point. At times it quite comical and at times it is very stressful, but I am beginning to look with fresh eyes and new insight at the people I love so much.
My family has been through a lot. Mostly because of the choices I made in my past. I left home at 16 and was on a downward spiral for 20 years of my life. Insert the three boys and my craziness poured into their life. Between my drinking and being a victim of domestic violence at the hand of their father, my boys have seen and experience things I never thought or would have wanted for them to go through. Combine that with the unexpected death of my fourth son at the age of 23 months in 2008, and they have dealt with a wide range of issues during their short lives. But as I reflected on the reading this week, I saw how each of them, including my parents have processed these events in different way leading to different outcomes. That is why the TED talk with Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris was so fascinating to me.
During her residency she was part of a clinic in a very poor area. They services people where there had once only been one pediatrician. They helped people overcome many obstacles to healthcare but during her time there she noticed something. She was getting several referrals for ADD and ADHD. But what she realized as she went more in depth with those patients is that each one of them had experience severe childhood trauma. She felt like she was missing something. This couldnt really be ADD/ADHD. It seemed to be something of a greater problem and she wanted to get to the bottom of it.
"If 95 out of 100 people get diarrhea after drinking from the same well, you can either keep writing a prescription for medicine or you can walk over to the well and find out what the hell is going on!!"
This day changed her practice and her focus. She began to research this and found other studies that spoke about the ACES score. this was a score that measured traumatic events such as if a child had someone in their family with mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence, or incarceration. The higher the score the greater the risk for not just social issues but for long term health issues such as COPD or heart disease. She explains about the fight or flight response and how it is great to have when your in the forest and a bear is in front of you but for some kids the "bear" comes home every night, and every night they have this fight or flight response initiated which causes damage and long term side affects to their developing brains. It keeps their bodies under a constant state of stress.
Some people think that because these children, whether while they are still young or grow up, may have a higher chance of drinking or substance abuse that it is just due to bad behavior. She shows how the science is connected to it. Childhood adversity can affects several areas of the developing brain such as the the part of the brain that controls the pleasure and reward system
.
This area called the nucleus accumbens plays a key role in substance abuse. It also affects the prefrontal cortex which is an important area for learning, impulse control and executive function. Tests also show that the fear response center, the amygdala, in the brain is also affected. This is scientific proof of why some people engage in riskier behavior when exposed to trauma in childhood and even if they do not the health affects will still be seen in them.
This video hit home with me. My 14 year old son has been diagnosed with ADD?ADHD. He has difficulties in school not being able to focus and do school work, self esteem issues not thinking he is smart enough, impulse control when he gets upset not knowing how deal with frustrating issues or having patience when asked to do something he doesn't want to do. With a heavy heart, I am now thinking this could be because of my issues with addiction and domestic violence that he had to witness during his early childhood.
If I were to look at all three of my boys, I would say maybe this not true because the other two do not show the same symptoms as he does. They are well behaved in school and have good grades. My 17 year old has straight A's in all his classes which are honors and advanced placement classes. According to the article on nature-nurture, it is hard to determine just how much environment plays a role in a persons behavioral outcomes. It says that it seems that everything has a genetic footing. So what does that mean for my 14 year old son, Eli? Does that mean that no matter what, he still would have struggled in some way? That question may haunt me for the rest of my life. However, because within my own household I have such variations between the boys, I do believe it was a combination for him. Since my other boys were able to achieve a different outcome, I think that genetics does play a role and definitely personality does. The older ones were exposed to more things before my parents stepped in and helped so I would think if it was completely environmental they would struggle too although I do not know yet if they will have health issues in the future. But, having seen and heard of other situations, I do believe ours was not as bad as some I have heard about. My parents were always there for them to provide comfort and security as well as the faith element that my family embraces. I believe this element which was not discussed in any of the material, is the most vital element that can reverse these effects.
From conception, which is a beautiful process and one that I believe only God can orchestrate since the chance of the egg being fertilized is actually quite difficult as seen in the amazing documentary Life's Greatest Miracle. Unfortunately, they were all exposed, at different levels to smoke and alcohol because I did not find out nor was planning to be pregnant so by the time it was known, I had drank a lot with each of them. But my addiction was worse with the younger ones and so it was harder to stop some of the things I was doing. I am not proud of this and hate to admit it, but I believe this can help me now to understand my boys and deal with the consequences of my behavior so that I can inform and help others make better decisions then I did.
Reading about attachment , I do believe my boys were and by the grace of God are now, in a place of healthy attachment. Despite my issues, I was able to shower them with great love and attention in many ways. I loved to play and read with them and I do remember how they would cry when I left the room and run to me when I came back. My son, Malachi, who is three months definitely already displays this healthy attachment. He has not had to go through any of what the others boys did and for the first time I had a completely healthy pregnancy. If I leave the room, his eyes follow to see where I have gone and he fusses. Then if he hears my voice or see walk back he fusses wanting me to pick him up. When no one else in the house can settle his crying, getting back into my arms usually does the trick. My mom teases that he is spoiled and only wants his mommy. That is a healthy attachment as described in the readings listed.
It is interesting to watch him as he process seeing a new toy or what happens if I take it away. As the video shows in What do babies think about, I have been able to watch him progress to noticing these things more and if his toy drops he seems to look in its direction. But his frown when he looks at something intently shows me his brain is hard at work to put some pieces together. It will be fun to watch him hit all of the developmental stages as shown by Erikson's and Piaget's stages of development and I can see some of these in action with two boys I babysit from time to time who are 4 and 5. I think learning this will make me a more aware parent and help me to teach Malachi so that his brain can optimally develop.
I am definitely getting to know the teen brain quite well with my three teenage boys. It is very interesting to see how each one of them is still so very different from each other. How they process things, how I have to address each one differently when it comes to teaching them, their behavior and various other things show me just how much goes into one person and trying to figure out how it all works. It will be amazing if I have any hair left and how deep my laugh lines are on my face when they grow up since my days are a combination of me wanting to pull my hair out in frustration and laughing uncontrollably with them at times. God has healed our relationship and we all have a beautifully close relationship now.
On top of all that, I get to learn about aging through my two aging parents. It has helped me though understand them better and some of the reasons I had issues growing up. How I may have processed things according to my perception not fully understanding where they were coming from. We are dealing with hearing loss, forgetfulness, and my mom is trying to research how to prevent or help reduce her chances of things like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's since her parents died of these diseases. We are moving and so finding old pictures and items has taken us to the past to remember all sorts of things from years past. I know this has helped my mom stretch her mind and remember some things she had forgotten, which has been useful as the video explained.
So my family has been a great place to see live and in person some of the different stages of developmental psychology. I have learned so much and so much of what i had already learned through my experience has been confirmed. I am grateful to be taking this class at this time of my life. it is readily applicable to many things going on in my family. But it has also made me think. We have been through a lot. and according to science, my children should be pretty messed up because of my past issues they had to experience and maybe they do have some affects still but it has made me realize that no matter what science says, I believe there is a greater power at work within my family. I believe that because of Jesus we have been able to overcome many of the adverse affects the circumstances of our lives have left. The grace of God and healing power of the blood of Jesus has allowed my family to recover and has made dealing with these issues possible. He is our healer, both physically and emotionally and because of what He has done through my family, our story has a much different ending than most who go through the same things. He loves, forgives restores, redeems and make all things new!!
by His grace and for His glory!!
Some people think that because these children, whether while they are still young or grow up, may have a higher chance of drinking or substance abuse that it is just due to bad behavior. She shows how the science is connected to it. Childhood adversity can affects several areas of the developing brain such as the the part of the brain that controls the pleasure and reward system
.
This video hit home with me. My 14 year old son has been diagnosed with ADD?ADHD. He has difficulties in school not being able to focus and do school work, self esteem issues not thinking he is smart enough, impulse control when he gets upset not knowing how deal with frustrating issues or having patience when asked to do something he doesn't want to do. With a heavy heart, I am now thinking this could be because of my issues with addiction and domestic violence that he had to witness during his early childhood.
If I were to look at all three of my boys, I would say maybe this not true because the other two do not show the same symptoms as he does. They are well behaved in school and have good grades. My 17 year old has straight A's in all his classes which are honors and advanced placement classes. According to the article on nature-nurture, it is hard to determine just how much environment plays a role in a persons behavioral outcomes. It says that it seems that everything has a genetic footing. So what does that mean for my 14 year old son, Eli? Does that mean that no matter what, he still would have struggled in some way? That question may haunt me for the rest of my life. However, because within my own household I have such variations between the boys, I do believe it was a combination for him. Since my other boys were able to achieve a different outcome, I think that genetics does play a role and definitely personality does. The older ones were exposed to more things before my parents stepped in and helped so I would think if it was completely environmental they would struggle too although I do not know yet if they will have health issues in the future. But, having seen and heard of other situations, I do believe ours was not as bad as some I have heard about. My parents were always there for them to provide comfort and security as well as the faith element that my family embraces. I believe this element which was not discussed in any of the material, is the most vital element that can reverse these effects.
From conception, which is a beautiful process and one that I believe only God can orchestrate since the chance of the egg being fertilized is actually quite difficult as seen in the amazing documentary Life's Greatest Miracle. Unfortunately, they were all exposed, at different levels to smoke and alcohol because I did not find out nor was planning to be pregnant so by the time it was known, I had drank a lot with each of them. But my addiction was worse with the younger ones and so it was harder to stop some of the things I was doing. I am not proud of this and hate to admit it, but I believe this can help me now to understand my boys and deal with the consequences of my behavior so that I can inform and help others make better decisions then I did.
Reading about attachment , I do believe my boys were and by the grace of God are now, in a place of healthy attachment. Despite my issues, I was able to shower them with great love and attention in many ways. I loved to play and read with them and I do remember how they would cry when I left the room and run to me when I came back. My son, Malachi, who is three months definitely already displays this healthy attachment. He has not had to go through any of what the others boys did and for the first time I had a completely healthy pregnancy. If I leave the room, his eyes follow to see where I have gone and he fusses. Then if he hears my voice or see walk back he fusses wanting me to pick him up. When no one else in the house can settle his crying, getting back into my arms usually does the trick. My mom teases that he is spoiled and only wants his mommy. That is a healthy attachment as described in the readings listed.
It is interesting to watch him as he process seeing a new toy or what happens if I take it away. As the video shows in What do babies think about, I have been able to watch him progress to noticing these things more and if his toy drops he seems to look in its direction. But his frown when he looks at something intently shows me his brain is hard at work to put some pieces together. It will be fun to watch him hit all of the developmental stages as shown by Erikson's and Piaget's stages of development and I can see some of these in action with two boys I babysit from time to time who are 4 and 5. I think learning this will make me a more aware parent and help me to teach Malachi so that his brain can optimally develop.
I am definitely getting to know the teen brain quite well with my three teenage boys. It is very interesting to see how each one of them is still so very different from each other. How they process things, how I have to address each one differently when it comes to teaching them, their behavior and various other things show me just how much goes into one person and trying to figure out how it all works. It will be amazing if I have any hair left and how deep my laugh lines are on my face when they grow up since my days are a combination of me wanting to pull my hair out in frustration and laughing uncontrollably with them at times. God has healed our relationship and we all have a beautifully close relationship now.
On top of all that, I get to learn about aging through my two aging parents. It has helped me though understand them better and some of the reasons I had issues growing up. How I may have processed things according to my perception not fully understanding where they were coming from. We are dealing with hearing loss, forgetfulness, and my mom is trying to research how to prevent or help reduce her chances of things like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's since her parents died of these diseases. We are moving and so finding old pictures and items has taken us to the past to remember all sorts of things from years past. I know this has helped my mom stretch her mind and remember some things she had forgotten, which has been useful as the video explained.
So my family has been a great place to see live and in person some of the different stages of developmental psychology. I have learned so much and so much of what i had already learned through my experience has been confirmed. I am grateful to be taking this class at this time of my life. it is readily applicable to many things going on in my family. But it has also made me think. We have been through a lot. and according to science, my children should be pretty messed up because of my past issues they had to experience and maybe they do have some affects still but it has made me realize that no matter what science says, I believe there is a greater power at work within my family. I believe that because of Jesus we have been able to overcome many of the adverse affects the circumstances of our lives have left. The grace of God and healing power of the blood of Jesus has allowed my family to recover and has made dealing with these issues possible. He is our healer, both physically and emotionally and because of what He has done through my family, our story has a much different ending than most who go through the same things. He loves, forgives restores, redeems and make all things new!!
by His grace and for His glory!!
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