Learning

Just being able to these blogs now is a sign of learning for me. I couldn't do them before. Everything on this blog format and posting is something I have had to learn. learning about my children daily and what makes them tick is another form of learning for me. learning the different cries of my infant son is another type of learning I do daily. We learn daily and most of it is not even recognized as learning because it is sub conscience learning. 

This is a very interesting topic because of the wide range of ages I have in my house and the fact that 4 of us are in school. But also because I am trying to help and infant learn about his world and discover the basics all while trying to get teenagers to learn how to drive or how to learn from the consequences of their mistakes and which types of reinforcement or discipline will work best to help them learn those lessons more effectively. Our lesson used the word "punishment" which also pointed out that sometimes this can lead to resentment, lying, shame or not learning how to change the behavior. That is why I like to discipline my children not punish them. Discipline comes from two greek words and  actually means child training. I hope that the type of reinforcement whether positive or negative helps my boys to actually have a change of heart and doesn't just become something they roll their eyes at. finding what works with the child is important for proper learning. My son's friend gets his phone taken away a lot. I asked him once if that was actually helping him to change his behavior since he was still doing the thing that made his parents take away his phone. He said no it didn't help him change. and then laughed.

The classical conditioning that was done by Pavlov reminded me of how people get hungry when they smell certain things. I have heard of restaurants keeping sautéed onions on the grill to make people hungry when they walk in the door. Realtors suggest baking cookies or using candles that smell like apple pie or other baked goods to have people feel more at home when they enter the house during an open house while trying to sell the house. This is because these things have created a conditioned response. We have been trained to think of certain things or have a physical reaction to them just as the dogs in Pavlov's experiment. 

The Little Albert study reminded me of my son Eli because he is very impressionable about things. If I describe things in a certain way he will have a reaction and then not want or want the item, depending on what I was talking about. I realize now that
I have to be very careful with him so that he is  able to make his own conclusions about things and not take on mine. 

It was interesting to watch the video about the pigeons learning self control. The rewards for self control are hard to pinpoint and what works for one person may not work another. I know this all to well from my days of trying to get sober. I think thats why this video was most interesting to me. Addicts want immediate gratification. Sobriety is not always immediate gratification and thats why so many people relapse. About 20 minutes into the video he talks about how eventually the pigeon learns to wait for the larger reward. I can say learning to do this in ones life when it is not part of your nature is extremely difficult to do. Recognizing alternatives to certain behaviors is key, researchers have learned. Dr. Rachlin said that sometimes the way to change a behavior is not to focus on the behavior itself but on the rewards from the alternative. This concept is what helped me get sober. I didn't go through 12 step programs. I focused on Jesus and the abundant life that awaited me if I left behind the alcohol. Its hard to explain, but I can say from experience this hits it spot on!! i was so excited to hear that on the video I kept watching it over and over. I didn't know how to explain that to the people who were trying to help me back then and everyone thought I was just trying to get out of going to meetings. but I told them that I just needed to be back with my family and begin to focus on my boys and that would help keep me centered with the help of God. I have noticed this works with my son Eli as well. When he was struggling with his behavior a couple years ago, positive reinforcement and focusing on the alternatives helped him more than just reminding him of the bad behavior. I would like to dive deeper into Dr. Rachlin's concepts as it is my desire to work with addicts and I can fully relate to what he is saying.

I think that the way we learn is quite interesting and important especially as a mother, to help my children. I is also helpful to know about myself so I can optimize my learning as a student and just in all areas of my life.