About Me
Hello! My name is Nicolle Polanco. I have been a resident of San Antonio for 39 years (almost 40 in a few weeks!). I am the only daughter to my mom and the youngest of four to my dad. I have been called a "mixed breed" in a friendly way, due to the fact that I am German, Irish and Polish from my mom and Hispanic from my dad. Although I have quite a mix of ethnicities in my blood, I grew up with the customs and influence of the Hispanic culture and that is what I identify mostly with.
I am also a mother to five boys, Jacob,17, Noah,15, Eli,14 and Malachi, 2 months. My son Jadon passed away in 2008 at the age of twenty three months from unknown causes. He fell asleep for a Sunday afternoon nap and woke up on the arms of Jesus, so I have 4 here and 1 in heaven. My boys keep me quite busy, as my older boys are all involved with sports, football, basketball and track. Jacob also does drama, student council and is starting to apply for scholarships to college. He would like to be an Engineer and attend Texas A&M or the Naval Academy. Malachi keeps me bust as well since a 2month old needs a lot of attention. I am starting all over again with this young one and at times feel like a first time mom all over again. I am also perfecting the art of doing things one handed as I am holding him most of the time. Soon he will be able to play, sit up on his own and become more involved as he discovers the world around him which will give me a few more minutes to complete needed tasks but either way it never an inconvenience to snuggle with any of my boys. If you don't have kids yet or have young ones, remember that they grow way too fast and the time flies by, no matter how slow it seems to go some days. Enjoy every moment of it. Cherish the cries as well as the laughter. Helping them to grow helps you to grow as well.
I realized that all too late for my older ones. I missed much of their childhood because I was too busy drinking and being caught up in myself. I was an alcoholic for over 20 years. I had been raised in a christian home and I believed in Jesus. I loved him in my own way but I never developed a relationship with Him. I had voids and wounds that I wanted to escape. My drinking started at the age of 16, when I graduated high school and left home thinking I would escape my controlling(but loving) father and discover the freedom I had always longed for. The ways in which I chose to pursue that freedom ended up getting me into the greatest bondage of my life. In the beginning I thought I was just having fun but before I knew it it was a habit I couldn't control and one that was consuming my life. I didn't know how to stop. I met the father of my older boys in 1999 and not only was he a partner in drinking, he was the catalyst the threw me into the dark world of domestic violence and drinking became the salve to the emotional wounds I suffered.
I didn't want to be that person. I began having kids in 2000 and I loved them. I loved being a mom. I had always dreamed of having a family, but I was already too far into my addiction. I couldn't hold a job, had gotten in trouble with the law from DWI's, and I couldn't care for my boys in the way I needed to. I am blessed that my parents stepped in and cared for them. I am grateful that they took custody back then. CPS never got involved but easily could have. I had a short couple years from 2009-2011 of sobriety when I went back to church, went on many global mission trips to South Africa, Haiti, Honduras, Panama, Mexico, Colombia and Colorado. I did many bible study and memorized scripture yet I never addressed some the roots of the reasons I drank in the first place and 2011 I relapsed. Drinking wasn't my problem. My problem was much deeper. Drinking was just the outward manifestation of the inward issues that were waring inside of me. Some I didn't even know of at the time.
In 2014 I went to Corpus Christi to a nine month faith based transition home for women. It was there I finally fully surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and with his help, began to heal the wounds, and destroy the roots to things that the enemy was using to destroy my life. God not only began to heal me but also began to heal my family and my relationship to them. It was also there that I began my journey in school by attending the Hardin Simmons extension campus in Corpus throughout the South Texas School of Christian Studies. After my return home in November 2014 to my boys and my parents I continued to pursue my degree in Behavioral Science in Ministry. I believe God is leading me into Christian counseling, teaching, writing, and somehow working with youth and addicts/alcoholics. I have shared my testimony in many different setting and have been the keynote speaker at events as well and many people that speaking will be another way God uses my life in the future.
It was there in Corpus I met Malachi's father, a man who was the opposite of any man I had ever known. He encourages me, values me and treats me with love and respect I haven't known before as low self worth and self esteem were some of my core issues. We currently live in our respective cities as he is well established in Corpus and I am here raising my boys but he visits often and I have found that the long distance relationship actually allows us to be even closer than being physically together. I live with my parents which has been a wonderful way to heal and forgive the wounds of the past and to get a new perspective and understanding of who they were when I was growing up.
It has been a wonderful few years and I feel like my life started all over again when I got over in 2014 so it has been a joy to become a mother again to Malachi and continue to be a mom to my older boys who I have now fully restored my relationship with and have gotten custody back. My life experiences have helped them along with their friends as they feel very open to come to me about anything they have issues with. I love my life and will proclaim the grace, mercy, forgiveness, and restoration power of Jesus Christ as long as I live!!
Along with my boys, I have a wonderfully loyal Shitzu named Levi. If I were to
compare myself to an animal compare myself to an animal I would have to say it would be a butterfly. I learned once that when coming out of the cocoon to complete its transformation, a butterfly MUST struggle. The struggle allows for the fluids to be pushed from the body outward to the wings so it can fly. Without the struggle the butterfly will die because it won't be able to fly. The struggle makes the beautiful butterfly fly. I thought that was a perfect analogy for my life. The other animal I can identify with is the Eagle. The eagle soars high above the storm and doesn't get caught up in it. He is strong despite his circumstances. That is how I have learned to be. There has been a lot of struggle and things aren't always easy. I have though to embrace and cherish both the struggles and the joys. It all has meaning. It is all shaping me into the mother, daughter,student, friend and child of God I was created to be.
I am also a mother to five boys, Jacob,17, Noah,15, Eli,14 and Malachi, 2 months. My son Jadon passed away in 2008 at the age of twenty three months from unknown causes. He fell asleep for a Sunday afternoon nap and woke up on the arms of Jesus, so I have 4 here and 1 in heaven. My boys keep me quite busy, as my older boys are all involved with sports, football, basketball and track. Jacob also does drama, student council and is starting to apply for scholarships to college. He would like to be an Engineer and attend Texas A&M or the Naval Academy. Malachi keeps me bust as well since a 2month old needs a lot of attention. I am starting all over again with this young one and at times feel like a first time mom all over again. I am also perfecting the art of doing things one handed as I am holding him most of the time. Soon he will be able to play, sit up on his own and become more involved as he discovers the world around him which will give me a few more minutes to complete needed tasks but either way it never an inconvenience to snuggle with any of my boys. If you don't have kids yet or have young ones, remember that they grow way too fast and the time flies by, no matter how slow it seems to go some days. Enjoy every moment of it. Cherish the cries as well as the laughter. Helping them to grow helps you to grow as well.
I realized that all too late for my older ones. I missed much of their childhood because I was too busy drinking and being caught up in myself. I was an alcoholic for over 20 years. I had been raised in a christian home and I believed in Jesus. I loved him in my own way but I never developed a relationship with Him. I had voids and wounds that I wanted to escape. My drinking started at the age of 16, when I graduated high school and left home thinking I would escape my controlling(but loving) father and discover the freedom I had always longed for. The ways in which I chose to pursue that freedom ended up getting me into the greatest bondage of my life. In the beginning I thought I was just having fun but before I knew it it was a habit I couldn't control and one that was consuming my life. I didn't know how to stop. I met the father of my older boys in 1999 and not only was he a partner in drinking, he was the catalyst the threw me into the dark world of domestic violence and drinking became the salve to the emotional wounds I suffered.
I didn't want to be that person. I began having kids in 2000 and I loved them. I loved being a mom. I had always dreamed of having a family, but I was already too far into my addiction. I couldn't hold a job, had gotten in trouble with the law from DWI's, and I couldn't care for my boys in the way I needed to. I am blessed that my parents stepped in and cared for them. I am grateful that they took custody back then. CPS never got involved but easily could have. I had a short couple years from 2009-2011 of sobriety when I went back to church, went on many global mission trips to South Africa, Haiti, Honduras, Panama, Mexico, Colombia and Colorado. I did many bible study and memorized scripture yet I never addressed some the roots of the reasons I drank in the first place and 2011 I relapsed. Drinking wasn't my problem. My problem was much deeper. Drinking was just the outward manifestation of the inward issues that were waring inside of me. Some I didn't even know of at the time.
In 2014 I went to Corpus Christi to a nine month faith based transition home for women. It was there I finally fully surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and with his help, began to heal the wounds, and destroy the roots to things that the enemy was using to destroy my life. God not only began to heal me but also began to heal my family and my relationship to them. It was also there that I began my journey in school by attending the Hardin Simmons extension campus in Corpus throughout the South Texas School of Christian Studies. After my return home in November 2014 to my boys and my parents I continued to pursue my degree in Behavioral Science in Ministry. I believe God is leading me into Christian counseling, teaching, writing, and somehow working with youth and addicts/alcoholics. I have shared my testimony in many different setting and have been the keynote speaker at events as well and many people that speaking will be another way God uses my life in the future.
It was there in Corpus I met Malachi's father, a man who was the opposite of any man I had ever known. He encourages me, values me and treats me with love and respect I haven't known before as low self worth and self esteem were some of my core issues. We currently live in our respective cities as he is well established in Corpus and I am here raising my boys but he visits often and I have found that the long distance relationship actually allows us to be even closer than being physically together. I live with my parents which has been a wonderful way to heal and forgive the wounds of the past and to get a new perspective and understanding of who they were when I was growing up.
Along with my boys, I have a wonderfully loyal Shitzu named Levi. If I were to
compare myself to an animal compare myself to an animal I would have to say it would be a butterfly. I learned once that when coming out of the cocoon to complete its transformation, a butterfly MUST struggle. The struggle allows for the fluids to be pushed from the body outward to the wings so it can fly. Without the struggle the butterfly will die because it won't be able to fly. The struggle makes the beautiful butterfly fly. I thought that was a perfect analogy for my life. The other animal I can identify with is the Eagle. The eagle soars high above the storm and doesn't get caught up in it. He is strong despite his circumstances. That is how I have learned to be. There has been a lot of struggle and things aren't always easy. I have though to embrace and cherish both the struggles and the joys. It all has meaning. It is all shaping me into the mother, daughter,student, friend and child of God I was created to be.
Great post Nicolle. Thanks for sharing!! Truly inspirational. Great testimony. I look forward to seeing such great work throughout this semester and to be able to know you in much deeper level through our interactions.
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